inner muppet

Thu, 23 Nov 2006 21:21:21 GMT

Hello my dears.

I have not forgotten you. Suffice it to say, part-time study leaves little time for internet faff. The first essay was infuriatingly one mark off of a distinction, so I'm keen to do better this time. Kettle's Yard want to see the report I've written on All About Eve, which is good, if somewhat scary.

I'm enjoying my time between modules at the moment with pub trips, films nice food and plotting more exciting pursuits. The house is coming together and now has most mod-cons. Work is a bit mad at the moment and I'm in the awkward position of writing things that have already been sold for large sums of money.

Am trimming the friends list. If I take you off, it isn't that I don't like you and I will probably still read when I have time, but time is an issue at the moment.

Bon siecle Mr. Baloffi

Sat, 23 Sep 2006 09:28:05 GMT

Well, it's been fun, but we're about to leave 233 Victoria Road with its multifarious holes that shouldn't be there, weird smells and ominous puddles. Unperturbed by minor difficulties with transport and the acquisition of food, I had an excellent few days in France with Martin reading, writing, walking, drinking the local wines and sitting on the most comfortable sofa in the world watching The X-Files.

If my life belonged to that genre of television in which many stories are told in an episode, drawn together smugly by a unifying theme at the end, this month would be things. My complete absorbtion in moving, acquiring and studying material posessions at the moment is starting to unnerve me, but soon I shall be settled in a new house and not studying material culture and will be able to take them for granted as normal.

Off to the museum before the furniture arrives!

A secret known only to women and gay men

Mon, 31 Jul 2006 17:52:25 GMT

The party was great fun. We had bellinis and kir and mojitos and cocktail umbrellas and cake and fruit and houmous and forfeit trousers. Everyone looked great and conversation sparkled like the indian fabric with which I covered the clutter. Even the party debris seemed more glamorous than usual.

It made a fitting climax to my free time. I'm about to start the real work for the next module now, but I'm not stressed. Maybe because we'll have another party soon and we shall book our holiday tonight.

Sun, 07 May 2006 10:57:00 GMT

"You're where? I'm with Abi, we're going to go play computer games and get pissed"

Susie had evidently never heard it called orgasm bridge.

The wedding yesterday was beautiful. The first I've ever been to, so I've no frame of reference, but it was lovley. Thanks and congratulations to the lovely couple. The whole day felt very hectic, and I worry that I didn't have enough time to worry about Martin, who had some dreadful news and a long journey. I hope he is alright.

At least I've managed to be a reasonable hostess- the alliterative one pot roast and gin andd tonic sorbet went down a treat. Now I'm off to Nero for lunch, just like the good old days.

Sat, 15 Apr 2006 10:47:59 GMT

It seems I have been neglecting the interwebble again. I've barely noticed the giving up IRC for lent thing. Sorry interwebble.

Things are going pretty well at the moment. I've finished the first unit of my course, which was a good introduction. The ideas were very interesting, but there was a really unsubtle bias towards the 'new museology' in the material and its presentation, which left me playing devil's advocate for the latter half, just because I was sure the other side of the debate couldn't be as straighforwardly daft as they were painting it. I guess they're allowed to simplify such a big debate for the first module, so I'm not that annoyed.

Seeing Laura again while she was back from Paris was fun. She did cartwheels in our kitchen and we stuffed ourselves with fajitas, before going into town for some chilled jazz and some dreadful mojitos.The party chez nous also went very well, with gin and skittles and the hat game and a house full of fun people. I am now convinved that there should be more parties.

Sally's hen do (or one of them) was also lovely, with the first punting of the season, lots of beautiful food and the chance to meet or remeet some pretty cool people. I felt at a slight social disadvantage, having never been to a wedding, but there were plenty of people to explain the general principle. When I got home, I discovered that the boys had obtained a playstation and Guitar Hero. We rock.

Work has been mad this week, and there has been general feeling icky, so I'm very glad to be in Clevedon for a while. Granny's been ill, so I'm going to visit her in a while, and Sam is coming over for dinner in the evening.

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 21:52:39 GMT

My stuff from Leicester arrived today and one of the first things it suggests I do is start a journal. This one is just sitting here and I've been wanting to do something about this for a while. I don't know how useful I'll find the journal idea and I may need to take a different approach once I see how it works out, but for now:

My desire to work in museums stems from a lot of things, in no particular order:

I just love being in them
my interest in culture and history
my granny's love of antiques and collecting, which she passed on to me
my interest in education
they were a place to learn at a time when I loved learning, but hated school
they are a valuable resource in so many ways and give a wide variety of people a lot of pleasure as well as food for thought
a desire for an academically challenging career

This is going to get a bit verbose, so I'm abandoning it for now, but while I'm at it, have a list of formative museums and exhibitions:

The British Museum (esp Assyrian reliefs, Parthenon marbles and the way there's something fascinating wherever you turn)
Bristol Museum (esp Egypt, Sea Dragons and the fact I've been going there regularly for years and will never tire)
Fondation Marguerite et Aime Maeght (An immersive experience. Art is literally wherever you turn. Picasso did the tiles forcryingoutloud)
The Fitzwilliam Museum (good and bad, this is an essay in itself)
The Cambridge University Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology (it is great, and they took me in)
The Courthauld (a great small art collection and a lovely space)
A museum of prehistory I visited when quite young, the name of which escapes me. It had Aurochs and creaky robot mammoths
Turks at the RA (a great exhibition, but I wished they'd thought more about the fact that there would be visitors)
The other big London museums and galleries (I will be here all night if I go through them all)
ditto museums in Cambridge

I may keep more comprehensive versions of these lists somewhere and add to them as things occur to me. They'll just have to be a bit pants for now.

As most of you will know, I studied Classics at university, which with its broad range of approaches to cultures and ideas feels like an excellent starting point. It was something I loved doing, I was good at it and I still believe in its value, even if people from my father to Bill Rammell to dunkyb see it as useless. If it were useless, I suspect my skills (and not just in the icky DfES sense) and time would be in a lot less demand, but now is neither the time nor the place for this rant.

In a way, maybe I am more a classicist because I like the approach than because I'm mad on Greeks and Romans, (although that's not to say that I'm not). I like handling different types of evidence, thinking about different schools of thought (both ancient and modern), I love languages, art and other forms of expression, I love complex messages. This should broaden out nicely into museum studies, but means I find it very difficult to define myself as purely an educator or an art historian or an archaeologist. I'm still using the sciences I found difficult to give up, so perhaps it'll be a while before I let go of the classicist hat or any of its subhats. I guess this means I see myself as multidisciplinary, which seems like a none too sophisticated attempt to evade definition, but I don't think it is. There's plenty of time to specialise yet and hopefully I can benefit from a broader view.

Education is a key issue and may prove to be the thing in which I choose to specialise. By the end of my MA, after 2-3 years working at Pearson I should also have considerable experience writing and developing educational materials, and good knowledge of the system, which can only be helpful. I love the idea of museums as the ultimate in lifelong learning, that anyone at all can walk into, think about in their own way and come out having learned a lot and enjoyed the experience. I would like to learn more about how to broaden their appeal and make sure that they are used by more people than just bored school children and the middle classes.

I also want to learn about the context of museums (this seems likely quite soon, having flicked through the materials from the first module) and the practicalities of managing a museum and its collections. I want to build on the amazing experiences I've had with Bright Sparks since I joined back in 2004 and I'm sure my studies will prove to be an excellent excuse to visit any museum that takes my fancy (I'm plotting to go to Paris soon, for example).

In my volunteering I have loved the feeling of being/providing an intermediary between people and objects, both directly as guide or educator or indirectly by writing labels and documentation. It is great to be able to contextualise objects through images, texts or other objects. I love the idea of telling stories in museums, and I don't think it should be just for the kids.

I also get an almost guilty pleasure from handling objects. At first I thought it was just a response to the priveleged position I was in and something that would wear off as I got used to it. I'm not sure now if it ever will. I think it runs deeper into something I can't fully explain. If ever you run a touch table, look at the visitors' faces and you'll see it there.

At the moment a lot of my motivations and a lot of the ways I look at museums come down to je ne sais quoi. The issues are complex, which is why I look forward to doing some hard thinking and maybe pinning some of these concepts down.

Wed, 15 Mar 2006 20:36:10 GMT

Today I told my boss that I have a place at Leicester (it went pretty well; he is a great believer in education, after all) and sent off the confirmation form. So I guess I am really doing this thing. It is really real.

The time management implications of doing a full-time job and part-time masters degree are a bit terrifying, but I really really care about this so I'm sure I can make it happen.

Sat, 11 Mar 2006 13:32:56 GMT

It's been one of those weeks where I've been pissed off with everything. Cars, shouting people, politicians, mess, feeling ill, being looked down on for not taking certain things seriously, or being told that the things that matter to me are worthless.

On the plus side, my laptop is fixed, I don't have mouth cancer and Leicester are offering me a place on their distance learning MA course.

Fri, 10 Feb 2006 14:54:44 GMT

It has been a long time since I've written anything in here. I've sort of lacked the inclination. There have been a few half inclinations to write something halfway interesting about my sudden urge for self-improvement, how it is ok that I am stupid or how frustrating the menstruation taboo is, but they have been overcome by lack of self-confidence/being arsed. They might happen. I wouldn't hold your breath.

I feel like it would be nice to use this thing for a little bit more than 'what I did on my holidays' style posts and that satisfying feeling of reading things with padlocks on. To be honest, although it is most of my job and something I'm told I'm very good at, I don't actually have the confidence to write things. I feel I should do more and build up my confidence. The kitten like state post felt good to write, even if a little contrived and rather heavily influenced by Paperweight.

I guess I may just have laid my finger on it. I may be alright at writing, but I'm a born critic and can generally see far too much of the bad in what I write. Bad writing irritates me intensely, whether it be an official document or adolescent poetry, not so much because I know I could do better but because I know I could do much better and it still wouldn't be any good.

I sort of hope that writing things is like singing in public, something you just have to get on with, get used to and get better at in the process and that this might be a safe place to start.

Oh dear me, I'm writing some bollocks. Good job I'm not a perfectionist.

Anyway, the period of time between the last time I told you what I was up to and now has been mostly characterised by peaceful domesticity. More specifically: Sunday roasts, The West Wing, church, yoga, home made smoothies and filling in forms. Applications for further study are the must have hobby of the moment around here, with Martin and I filling in forms and Henry being interviewed.

The weekend before last I went to London to see my parents, Sam and Susie. We went to the Rousseau exhibition at the Tate Modern, which was very well put together and a lovely chance to see some stunning paintings. It also really stressed me out because of the volume of people and the number of times my personal space was invaded. I was still quite bad on Sunday evening and snapped at a fair few LARPers for making me feel trapped at Rosie and Jen's party. I'd say I don't know why I bother going to the big touring exhibitions, but I do. Mostly because their contents are amazing and I can't afford to go to America to see them.

We young 'uns were also very impressed by the Rachael Whiteread installation in the turbine hall, which is impressive, not only in terms of scale and concept, but also in the way people respond to it. Dad was rather stuck on the idea that it looked like sugar cubes.

We said goodbye to my parents and went to Susie's to eat pasta and drink sloe gin. It was great to talk to both of them. So great that I missed the last train, which at least meant a pleasant Sunday morning eating jam and listening to Radio 4.

We had an Alan over last weekend, which also allowed for some fun catching up and drinking, including some really deadly alcoholic smoothies. Managed a decent roast on Sunday before collapsing in a heap.

I've been feeling exhausted and slightly rotten ever since, with an interesting array of minor symptoms ranging from a runny nose to mildly hallucinatory experiences. I'm worried there's something wrong with my immune system. I've taken today as a sick day more because I'm feeling vaguely icky and I doubted I'd be able to do anything useful than because of any describable symptoms (the most obvious one of which is an icky tongue infection thing).

Out of steam now. Post the damn thing.

Wed, 04 Jan 2006 00:00:44 GMT

I used my last day of holiday to finish off Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami, Zelda Windwaker and The Penelopiad by Margaret Atwood, in that order. I feel it was well spent even if it has left me feeling somewhat unreal. Kafka on the Shore has renewed my desire to read really weird books. Suggestions are welcome. The Penelopiad has left me pointedly avoiding needlework this evening, lest it become symbolic.

Sat, 31 Dec 2005 16:12:27 GMT

I'm settled back in Cambridge now, following a Christmas which I shall remember as an enjoyable one, with an incongruously Cuban flavour. Holiday photographs may not be much fun, but I'm all for (decent) holiday music and booze. Mum and Dad seem much happier now and I am glad.

It has been a bit of a weird year, and I wouldn't want to go through it again. It included my first experience of death of people close to me and a feeling that there was no clear path to where I want to be. It gave me my first real jobs and a home that isn't with my parents and some great people to share it with. I am happier, healthier, richer and thinner than I was at its start. I still feel uncertain about some things in my life, most worryingly my future and my faith, but I will work on both of those.

I haven't really made any new years resolutions, apart from the general issues mentioned above. If a resolution is worth making, it is worth starting as soon as you think of it, in my experience.

I hope you all have fun tonight, whatever you are doing, and that you will have a happy new year.

Sun, 25 Dec 2005 11:48:55 GMT

I'm skiving kitchen duty to wish you all a very merry Christmas.

Have a lovely day. Love and hugs from me.

Wed, 16 Nov 2005 08:33:11 GMT

My immune system hates me

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 22:51:03 GMT

Life goes on, and it's pretty good at the moment. I baked a cake and the bathroom's clean and I have new CDs.

Martin and I have been going out for two years, as of Thursday, which seems like a big landmark. Probably because of all the fuss people made just over two years ago about it being a make or break point and the way the evidence at the time seemed to support this idea. We went out for a nice meal and watched stupid television and it felt more special than that sounds.

Last weekend worked out busy. The funeral went ok, it was a nice service, even if my aunt was pretty rude. People described it as the end of an era, which I guess means we can walk away from the bad bits of that era now. We skipped the drinks afterwards and went to see my godmother, which was a nice reminder of the good bits of family. The next day we had lunch with Granny before driving Ian to Temple Meads and heading for Cambridge. My folks met Martin's and we all went to see the fireworks and had a nice dinner. The next day was pub with Jacob, Singstar 80s and party. Great fun, completely exhausting.

Job is keeping me busy. I feel like a bit of an ingrate for not liking it more, but I do still sit in the office fantasising about being somewhere else. Mostly libraries, tragically enough.

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 08:39:35 GMT

Grandma's dead.

This means negotiating public transport on my own in order to face the awful family rift that has just lost the one thing holding it together. I do not feel strong enough or well enough.

Sat, 13 Aug 2005 22:56:16 GMT

I seem to have slipped into this weird parallel universe where Ian goes to the gym, Dad is clean shaven, fitzbillies chelsea buns are a breakfast food and I have a future as a constuctive grown up.

As I'm sure you've gathered, it turns out it was lucky I didn't go to Wales what with surprise job interview and surprise job and surprise parental visit. I had a lovely time today, ate far too much and did some much needed catching up. Am now enjoying the benefits of being home alone, only with fewer booby traps and with more singing loudly and wearing whatever I feel like. Missing people though.

Fri, 12 Aug 2005 09:13:08 GMT

It has been a very long week, what with the two job interviews and the running around trying to find a house. I am running low on money and self esteem right now and really need something to change soon. The more people who treat me like shit in the course of my job and the more people who stride into jobs without struggling horribly for a year, the worse I feel.

I am now on my own for the weekend and will very much need some distracting if anyone's around.

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 09:57:39 GMT

Perhaps I should jack it all in and become an Existential Detective.

Tue, 05 Jul 2005 16:54:04 GMT

Haven't written in ages. Sorry about that.

Mayweek was fun but a bit weird, seeing as I was working for two hours in the middle of each day. There were still some thoroughly lovely experiences, including some quality sitting on the grass with friends, fire and ent-piracy, clubbing, assorted fireworks, singstar fun, the aforementioned sunrise and the utterly beautiful Magdalene ball. All slightly more poigniant since it felt like it might be my last proper mayweek.

Got back from Ireland with Martin on Saturday. It was really nice to see everyone again and I thoroughly enjoyed being mothered and meeting the extended family. I may have started a playground craze for possibly the first time in my life.

Work is going alright. It has been useful to have a job with fairly unobtrusive hours for mayweek and for working on my projects at Arch and Anth. Not sure if I can keep it going long term as it is a bit demoralizing and I desperately need more money if I'm to share a house with Fred and Martin next year.

Today has been an odd combination of not enough sleep and too much work followed by a nice picnic and a bit of an ego boost. Will now go and try to rest a bit before dancing later.

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 04:26:26 GMT

On this, the summer solstice, we arose and went to the CMS roof, where we saluted the rising sun with tequila.

Update: and now two slammers, a beer and three dumb movies later, I'm off to work.

Tue, 31 May 2005 20:13:43 GMT

Friday I had a very pleasant day of volunteering. The morning researching the bronze hoard in my case (I still don't have a clue what it's all about, but I'm not supposed to: it is ritual, after all.) and thinking about the labels. At lunch time I bought some hair pins to start trying to recall how to do a French pleat in time for Magdalene ball and had a lovely lunch in Clowns with Martin. Later I finished the dull data entry part of the Fitzwilliam project, so hopefully I can get on with the slightly more interesting analysis bit. The evening included chilled music, Zendo and conversation.

Saturday morning we sat out on the lawn reading our books/maths notes. Then we went to the castle for lunch and split into two groups for shopping. I went to help Jacob pick a present for Vicky (unsuccessfully sadly- turns out she only wanted artichoke hearts) and the (other) boys went "flip flop shopping". Jacob and I had a bit of a head start on the beer festival and the others announced their presence by flinging Al's new "frisbee" as Jacob. much puzzlement ensued. there was beer and chips and pineapple and conversation. Then away for Ask takeaway pizza back home with Vicky, the Johnians and a bonus Ed. Evening degenerated into project rub and a rather memorable game of catch.

Birthday started slowly. Opened post. Tried on the knickers from mum opened the cards and read the email and had brief moment of panic as to whether Aldi would be open for the essential scary sweets and cheap alcohol. Went for sandwiches with Martin, Al and Jacob and returned home via the market for the buying of cake and contemplating of potential May ball jewellery.

People soon started turning up and before I knew it there was a party. We got to the recreation ground and started eating, drinking and mingling. There were bubblegum tattoos, rhubarb and custard shooters, several cakes, pimms taste tests, poi, flags, cards, frisbee, random kids (who taught us all the ultimate comeback, and recognised some of us from CULES), the traditional play equipment (spinny tyre thing of death anyone?) and the enjoyment of seeing all my friends from different places meeting and getting along well. I feel quite bad for not adequately warning a couple of people about the strength of Jacob's cocktails. Sorry guys, hope you still enjoyed yourselves anyway.

Was lovely to see everyone, especially those who've been buried in work or far away in The Real World. Thank you all for coming and making it great and bringing lovely things and nice people. The evening drew to a close with a grazed knee, a beautiful sunset, French dildo cricket (don't ask me, I don't know) and the suggestion of curry.

So we went home, collapsed in a heap, sent some brave souls in search of curry and put some rice on. later we discovered that Fred could hit the UL tower with his lazer pointer and otherwise put on a light show

Yesterday was sleep and an afternoon in the pub with Al and Locky. Got a bit sad on the walk home for unbelievably uncool reasons, namely that I miss exams. I feel at a bit of a loose end at this time of year because I feel like I should be revising because I've been doing so for years. It is nice not to have that stress (though there are other sources) but I miss the annual chance to really concentrate on thinking and learning.

Today was my last day at the council, which has been excellent experience and not too bad as jobs go. Though I think my back may benefit from getting away from the horrid office chair and building tension. Tomorrow I start properly at the Fitzwilliam.

Tue, 24 May 2005 18:42:34 GMT

It turns out that computers are faster than bras, but not as fast as RAM.

Oh ok then

Mon, 23 May 2005 17:30:21 GMT

Total number of books owned:

More than I care to count.

Last book bought:

Confessions of a Sinner, St Augustine. Translated by R.S. Pine-Coffin. Something I've been meaning to read for a while and which happened to be in the Smiths in Kings Cross station. And it had a pretty cover and was cheap and sometimes these things are more appealing than they should be. I am however genuinely enjoying it as a document of faith, a historical description and as a story.

Last book read:

Those of you who know my reading habits will know that because I read about four at a time depending on mood, I can go for long periods without finishing them. The last was (I think) Spies by Michael Frayn which was good, though I'm not as fond of it as my mother seems to be. the man clearly remembers what it was like to be a child more vividly than even I do and there are times I suspect I still am one.

Five books that mean a lot to me:

Um, only five? Curses. Some off the top of my head.

The Bible. Bit obvious this one. I do genuinely think it's a great book that people can read for the stories and the insight into how people thought then and think now, even if they think christians etc. are nutters. Should read more. Should buy NT in the original. I always find something in it to move me and make me think.

The Magus, John Fowles. Back in the days when I was opinionated enough to have actual favourite things, this was my favourite book. I'm not sure it is still the best I've ever read, but I still love it. The atmosphere of confusion and mediterranean beauty is fantastic. It is also the only book I have convinced my brother to read and love. It may be the only novel on his shelf and I bought another copy rather than ask for it back.

Paperweight, Stephen Fry. Back in first year I had glandular fever. It was wretched and miserable and I was shut in my room in college for several weeks, give or take staggering to the doctor's surgery next door. During this time I attempted to read several books including The Lord of The Rings and The English Patient, These were read while I was half alseep and so their plots became jumbled and incorporated with fever dreams in my head. I now remember next to nothing of them. What I do recall was Susie turning up when I was recovering enough to stay awake and hold sensible conversations. She brought grapes, brisk good cheer and a copy of Paperweight she had unashamedly nicked off of someone who messed her about lots and nearly gave her glandular fever. This is a special magic book that got us both through being miserable and (at least potentially) ill. It is also funny and lovely and wise and you should read it. Trefusis is my hero.

Looking at Painting, I forget the author's name. An excellent introduction to art criticsm full of pretty pictures that taught me to make up insightful sounding things about paintings. This has since proven extremely useful in all forms of criticism and is a skill which has developed over the years from glorified bullshitting to (what I hope is) actual critical ability. This has seen me through all sorts of essays, supervisions and exams -not just art either. Probably instrumental in preventing me becoming a biologist. Also for all that I am a grown up girl now, I still love picture books.

Crap, I wanted there to be a book in Latin and a kids book in here. I guess I shall have to acknowledge the formative influences of Roald Dahl, Gosciny and Uderzo and C.S. Lewis in passing and go for:

Metamorphoses, Apuleius. A really good read, extremely interesting to study and also a book I was reading during an exciting, beautiful and extremely busy part of my life. And it gave me my reputation for studying donkey porn.

Do it yourselves if you want. I would love to know all about all of your bookshelves. Books are cool. I shall avoid actually pointing the finger at anybody. </b></a>

...and then three come along at once.

Fri, 20 May 2005 17:52:29 GMT

Arch and Anth have said I can do some gallery attendant work over the summer, which should help make ends meet and the Fitzwilliam want me in on Sunday cos they're short staffed. Hooray.

In other news I have a hat from Austin Reed and a rather exciting (though the boys were less impressed) replica oil lamp. Well it's an excuse to play with fire.

Sat, 07 May 2005 11:40:09 GMT

The Dulwich Picture gallery and the Fitzwilliam both want to interview me next week. Perhaps I'm not completely unemployable.